Archive | December 2014

Christmas day

I knew this day was coming, I tried to prepare myself but nothing could prepare for the loss I feel today.  My heart feels like it has broken in two. I miss you so much my precious bubba xxxxx

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Our 1st Christmas without you

My girlsimageTomorrow it will be your six month anniversary, I thought I was doing well.  I’m on my medications and I’ve continued to see my councillor every fortnight, ive even started to eat healthier and lose weight because I promised you I was not going to waste the life I’ve been given and try and live it to the full in your honour but today it has suddenly dawned on me that you will not be here at Christmas now I know that sounds silly, of course I knew you were gone and Christmas will never be the same again but today it hit me again like a bolt that I’m not going to ever see you open your presents again, im not ever going to hear your questions about S anta again, I’m not ever going to wrap anymore surprises for you.  I can’t imagine ever wanting to decorate a tree again or cook a turkey dinner, I cant imagine Christmas ever to be happy again without you.

Grandma and I decided that it would be easier to be in a different country this Christmas as it’s our first without you and grandad, I’m glad you have each other.  We’ve decided to go visit aunty Céline in Canada and as much as I’m looking forward to seeing them all im wishing it was all over and 2014 was done.  I know you and grandad had a word with God and sent us a beautiful gift to help us look forward and CeCe is very excited about being a mommy, I’m so very proud of how CeCe has coped this last 9 months, she has looked after grandma and I every day and soon baby Leigh will be here for us all.

I really wish I could spend Christmas with you and grandad just one more time.