Another Christmas without you đź’”


It’s been nearly 4 months since I’ve written on your blog, my last post was for your birthday.  So much has happened in those months darling. 

I met and fell in love with a lovely man, a good man who looks after me.  On our first date he bought me a beautiful rose made out of feathers.  I felt it was a sign from you my Ă“rla Rose giving your approval.  On our second date I found out his birthday was the day before yours (a day now that I dread every year) and that evening whilst we were standing outside I noticed a little white fluffy feather, my sign from you to let me know your there, directly at his feet.  

We’re on our 6th month together now and I can’t quite believe I feel happiness again.  For a while I felt guilty that I woke up thinking of him and not you but I know you knew that I could never forget you my darling.  We’re making plans for the future and for the first time since you left us I’m looking forward to my future.  I talk about you all the time to him.  I want him to know you and learn how brave and strong you were.  I show him your pictures and let him hear your voice, he comforts me when I’m having a bad day although I know he can’t feel my pain it’s nice to have someone to cuddle & love me again.

It’s approaching Christmas again, our third without you and myself, Jim, grandma, CeCe and Leigh will all be spending it together.  Grandma put her tree up this year as Leigh is more aware of what’s going on around him the first time since you and grandad went to heaven.  This week I put my Ă“rla angel tree up and began selling your Ă“rla Angel key rings and bookmarks for your memorial fund.  It’s cheered me up so much that I actually feel a bit Christmassy.

I hope you and grandad are happy & excited and looking forward to Jesus’s birthday up there.  We will never enjoy Christmas the same ever again without you both but I want you to know that although I miss you everyday bubba I’m ok and living my life to the full.

Till we meet again my angel xxxxxx

    

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9 thoughts on “Another Christmas without you đź’”

  1. I can only imagine what youre goin through Sharon..but i do know every minute of every day is just absorbed when you have a special child and when you do get a rare break its so difficult to know what to do with yourself til they come home again .. as youre life is living and breathing theyrs.. so to never have them return home to you i can only imagine the pain..the heartache..the emptiness..the lonliness.. lack of social interaction outside of ‘special’ that lost feeling you have not knowing who you are anymore..im so glad that youre living again..youve found Sharon again..and enjoying being a granny and a different kind of mum..but mostly to have found that new special someone to share all those moments and beautiful memories with is inspiring to us all..iv never been so happy for anyone as i truely am for you hun..lots of love and hugs this Christmas and many more to come xx.

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  2. Delighted you have found some happinesd Sharon. Orla Rose would only want happiness for you so dont ever feel guilty for it. On my dark days I think hard on whst Luke would want for me and it always makes me feel bettrr. Wishing you a peaceful and happy as can be Christmas Jo xo

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