27th August 2017 would have been your 13th birthday, a teenager. I wonder so much what you would have been like, would life have been any easier for you my darling. Would you have understood your autism and cf more, would you have learnt to cope with taking your meds better or doing your physio? Realistically probably not.
You were always such a strong character and no one could tell you what to do, not even me who I know you trusted. I miss you so much baby, I just wish I could visit you and wish you a happy birthday and get one more cuddle.
Gran and I booked a safari for the week of your birthday, how silly of me to think I would be too distracted and busy to be upset. No matter how hard I try I’m finding it hard to stick to my promise to ‘celebrate’ your birth on this day and not the fact that your no longer with me.
Jim has made my life so much better and I thank God for sending him to me but the ache of you not being here never goes away. Jim’s birthday falls the day before yours, this helps me realise how lucky I still am to have special people in my life. He proposed to me in July and in such a romantic way I’m still reeling from it, I never expected myself to ever smile again let alone be happy and looking forward and not always backwards.
I miss you so much my bubba.
Happy Birthday my angel
Love momma xxxxx